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Dateline: Hollywood (3/3/04))

Legendary Columnist, Annie Nonamus:

Well, kiddies, I hope you all managed to remain dry. It was so bad on Sunset the other night, I saw several hookers dressed in goggles and swim fins!. Meanwhile, many SAG & WGA Members have had their spirits dampened by a sinking feeling that the DVD Ship has been abandoned by SAG and it’s Extension/Consolidation proponents.

All eyes will be on CEO Bob, Prez Gilbert, Mikey, Jamie & the rest of the Pro Extension/Consolidation Leadership. You see, according to a Little Birdie, while the rest of us will be wondering how the election is going THEY WILL BE GETTING DAILY UPDATES!

Yes, As your votes arrive they are being counted IMMEDIATELY by the Voting Company—and a RUNNING total of the votes is available to CEO Bob and his confidants at almost the same time!

So, Boys and Girls, here’s a few Telltale Signs on how the vote is going.

—-If CEO Bob jubilantly Toilet Papers the men’s room at 5757 Wilshire while joyfully exclaiming “We Pulled it off, Nick!” the tally overwhelmingly favors Extension.

—If you get a phone call from someone sobbing “This is Half-Pintplease vote “Yes” for the Extension” the Tally is against the Extension.

—If you DON’T get a postcard from Jamie Cromwell proclaiming that Extension means “Less Dues and More Muscles” the Tally is for Extension.

—If Mike Farrell holds a Midnight Vigil–it’s about to die

If CEO Bob is seen lunching with AFTRA’s Greg Hessinger and Big John Connolly, it doesn’t mean much of anythingah, except that SAG is probably picking up the tab.

Ta-Ta, and Tippy-Toe, Annie