Legendary Columnist Annie Nonamuss
Dateline Heavenly Hollywood (2/16/04)
“Boo-Boo at the Beverly!”
Hey there, muffins. Did you miss me? I was off to the Tijuana Film Festival, could not understand a word of Espanola, but the tequila was wonderful and the gay caballeros were anything but. My doctors assure me that I have done no permanent damage to either my liver or my back.
Whilst I was away my little elves soldiered on and came up with this deliscioso morsel of news.
At the last Plenary (January 19, 2004) a bunch of Branch Board Members led by the valiant David-Hartley Margolin, (I have always been a bit wary of people with three names ever since that John Wilkes Booth thingy) board member from Denver, introduced an amendment to the Screen Actors Guild Constitution.
Among other things, The Margolin Amendment would have amended Article V111, Section 3.E.1 & 2 of the SAG Constitution thus allowing Board Members to remain sitting on the board making decisions affecting the entire membershipeven though they had not paid their dues within the same current 45 day grace period that applies to regular Ol’ SAG members.
This “Little Constitutional Adjustment” was necessary, Mr. Margolin, asserted because of the “slowness of the mail,” and the poverty of some of the Board Members. DHM’s thingy would have allowed these “income challenged” board members up to six months to come across with the cash.
As the dais, groaned with weight of SAG Bigwig buns, (Atkins people, Atkins) the SAG Staff Executives, SAG Elected Officers, various SAG Legal Beagles and everyone in attendance suffered through a contentious, very expensive four hour wrangle over the advantages and disadvantages of this “Let-Us-Eat-Cake” Amendment before it was FINALLY adopted. (The deliciously, saucy Millie Wright, informs that the entire Membership First contingent voted against the amendment–Whilst another little Birdie informs that every Membership First Board member RECORDED their NO vote! This whilst every Restore Respect Member refused to RECORD their YES vote!) Perhaps they wanted to stay anonymous! Or then again maybe they thought it was a Digital Recording and were waiting for AFTRA to take it! Anyho’ Darlings, these several hours of wasteful windbagging were done in the Ballroom of the Beverly Hilton—at what we can only assume were not exactly Tom Bodett Rates!
Oh, by-the-by, a little tweedy bird at SAG told me that they were taking a second look at the amendment and had set up a committee to examine the possibility of some “tweaking”.
Well they can just stop looking and tweaking. You see, kiddies, one little thingy was over-looked! The part of the Constitution The Board of Directors was trying to amend is not amendable by the Board Of Directors! Oooops! It can only be changed by the membership in referendum! Now, some of you kiddies may be wondering why. with all of CEO Bob’s Legal Beagles in attendance, didn’t at least one of them catch this? They’re educated; some, I have been told, graduated with honors from Abraham Lincoln School of Law (did they get their accreditation back?). No matter, they allowed the board to kill four hours on useless chatter without out nary a whimper!
Now like CEO Bob’s minions, I’m not much for reading endless boring details, like Constitutions and such. Fortunately, my minions love that stuff, and upon my return they pointed (I know its impolite) to the pertinent portion of Article XVIII, Section (2) of the Constitution which delineates (I love that word) those parts of the Constitution that cannot be amended by the Board. And guess, what kiddies the article the board sweated over, Article VIII , Section (3) is only “amendable” by the entire membership in referendum. As, Ol’ Gomer used to say “Surprise! Surprise!”
Oh, by the by, if you unlike CEO Bob’s minions are interested in reading the pertinent portions of the Constitution referenced above, you can download the Constitution from the SAG Website www.sag.org
A teensy heads-up to all National Board Members and Alternates, beginning June 15, my elves and I will be Station 12ing all of you, beginning with the BRANCHES.
Well, I’m off, must fly. Bobby wants to give me a sneak peek at next years Sundance. At least that’s what he says he wants. But first, I simply must drop by the SW Doghouses and toss SW Editor & Chief A.L. Miller and CEO Bob Pisano, a bone to go along with their bread and water. Ta, ta!