— “The Screwum Society”
The current UFS (Unite For Scraps) leadership is touting the 2 percent per year increases in their new announced commercial contract with our employers, the JPC (Joint Placating Committee.)
But, but, but…okay, I ain’t no math whiz, but the agreement has a SIX PERCENT increase over the length of the contract…ah, and the last increase we got ended on March 31, 2012. Right, so that’s, that’s FOUR YEARS by the end of the contract. You know since, well that last raise! And, well SIX divided by FOUR ain’t TWO but, but ONE & A HALF! So, how could this be. We know even under our current leadership, we have employees who ARE Whizzes at math. What’s missing here? What happened?
Well, sidestepping the math, I went to my history books…and Walla! I discovered the Ancient Screwum Society. To make a long fable short, they were a fun loving, creative, child-like people much like, ah, well, ACTORS! One thing, they weren’t to sharp at though was math–and, well, one thing led to another and before they realized it, their ONE YEAR contracts with their employers covered SIXTEEN MONTHS instead of TWELVE…and boy, were they getting well, ah, you know…in fact down through the centuries that’s were the saying “SCREWUM” evolved, especially when bosses were dealing with their employees.
Now, ah, well, gosh, I can’t verify this, but, but, but I heard from an actress/waitress friend of mine who was waiting on an aging attractive female with a pile of red hair and an older heavy set man who looked vaguely familiar. Anyway, well, she claims that they were both looking at a document and giggling wickedly. When, she brought them some more bubbly, she couldn’t help herself–and she sneaked a peep at the document that was evoking all the giggles, and guess what, it was a copy of the new SAG-AFTRA Commercial Contract!
But, but, but, here’s the kicker. In between the frivolity, guess what they were saying? “Screwum! Screwum! Screwum!”
Ah, so who were they referring to? Hey, read the contract real close before you make that decision. Then Vote!!!!
The Ol’ SAG Watchdog